Sophistication is Not Within My Grasp

Why is it that every time you need to be sophisticated it DOESN’T WORK? For example, when someone threw me a pod of peas to eat and I actually caught it (for once), I looked around like “yeah, I’m just that cool” and then when I opened the pod a pea flew up and flicked me in the eye before ricocheting onto the sofa and bouncing behind it, never to be seen again (we don’t hoover much). 

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