The Lack of Table Manners Situation

Normally on a Sunday night people sit down politely at the table and have dinner, elbows off the table, knives and forks at all times etcetera etcetera but not my family! Not ours! For one thing, while my dad was giving me a “drink responsibly” lecture after I stole his wine glass my mother flicked peas everywhere by accident which will probably be squashed into the carpet for about thirty years. While a spider casually wandered around the table we had a contest to see who could slurp an entire tomato into their mouths without squirting it everywhere, as dad put his head in his hands and sighed. Anyone else like this?

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