It’s a warm summer’s evening. I’m about seven (I forget my exact age), and I’m on the tiny little trampoline I had, so of course I take off my shoes because that is what you are meant to do when on a trampoline and jumping to the grand heights of two feet in the air. Mum calls me in for dinner just as the sun is almost completely set, making the whole garden dark. I run into the house and just as I get to the top of the garden path, I step on something.
It is a slug.
And it explodes.
And I am still shoeless.
There is a reason that I haven’t shared this story before, and that reason is that I considered it to be too disgusting, but I have literally nothing else to write about and this is one gem that deserves it’s place on the internet.
Anyway, I stand still for a second, slightly shell-shocked and try to explain to my mother why I am on the verge of tears. I must say, even after all these years, I still feel sorry for the slug. That poor unsuspecting slug.
But I feel mainly sorry for me.
I used one of those nail-brushes on my feet for months after that, trying to erase the horrible memory, but alas it has been embedded in my memory. I mean, my brain could have repressed it, couldn’t it? I could have used that space to remember how to balance equations in Chemistry or something, but no, the darn slug is there instead.
I genuinely still remember the feeling in my foot. I can still hear my mothers laughter/cackle as she realised that it wasn’t a banana I stepped on as she first thought, but this enormous gastropod having a lounge around on the stones. (When I was looking up what type of animal a slug is to sound intelligent, the list of options like ‘images’ and ‘videos’ had ‘shopping’ as the first one – like, who is selling slugs and snails?)
I think you can grasp why I still to this day recoil at the sight of a slug in my path, and why I am irritated when I hear people accidentally go near one and say ‘ah I touched it it’s all slimy’ because quite frankly they have no idea.
Many apologies if I have grossed you out but I rather fancied sharing the tale. I am off to try and lock the memory away some how. I’ll let you know how that goes….